Thoughts on the book
There are as many ways to interpret “Theo of Golden” as there are people who have read it. Rather than write a review of the book, I am writing about the life lessons that it caused me to reflect on, knowing others may take away many different ones.
Suggested Theo of Golden book club questions
From each lesson, I am offering up some potential Theo of Golden book club questions in line with those lessons for your consideration.
You should move it to the top of your list
I had several people recommend “Theo of Golden” to me. One such recommendation was more to the point than the others.
The conversation went like this (via text):
“You really should read Theo of Golden.”
My response, “It is on my list.”
Their response, “You need to move it to the top of the list.”
Okay, then. Next day it was on my front porch, and I at once began reading it.
In the beginning
In the early pages, I had my doubts. It started out a bit too “Pollyanna.” Everyone was nice and polite and everything worked out. Not how most of us experience life.
But gradually, real life started to become part of the story. The struggles of the various characters became known as well as the prior life challenges of the protagonist. Everything was no longer “golden.” Hence it became more relatable.
Which leads to these potential book club questions.
– Did the opening chapters strike you as overly “Pollyanna”? Did that change as you kept reading?
– At what point did the story start to feel more real to you? What shifted?
– Do you think the author’s choice to start “golden” before introducing struggle was intentional? What might it be doing for the reader?
Lesson 1 - people want to tell you their stories - let them
The book revolves around this theme. The sketches were the method that Theo used. There are other ways to let people tell you their story. Whatever method used, the most important thing is to be quiet and listen to their story.
– What tools or habits do you use, if any, to invite people to share their story with you?
– Think of a time someone truly listened to your story. What did that feel like — and what did they do differently from a typical conversation?
– Is quiet listening harder than it sounds? Why do so many of us struggle with it?
Lesson 2 - use lesson one to connect with the person
This drove Theo’s interactions with the characters throughout the book. He used what he learned from their story to personally connect with each person.
The strongest example of this was his Christmas gift giving. The gift he selected for each character reflected what he had learned from their story. Even the way the gifts were presented to the recipient reflected a deep understanding of each one’s story. The appropriateness of each gift was evident in the reaction of the character to receiving the gift.
– Which gift-giving moment stood out to you most, and why?
– Have you ever given (or received) a gift that showed someone had really been paying attention? Describe it.
– What’s the difference between a thoughtful gift and simply an expensive one?
Lesson 3 - the importance of community
Theo became an integral part of the community in a brief period. He was able to do this as his actions to build community were simple and direct – and contagious.
The process of successfully building community is an art plus a lot of effort. He put himself out there. He risked rejection and experienced it in the process. But he kept moving forward. The people with whom he was building community wanted it as well, they just needed someone to make it happen. Be the catalyst.
Consider community an essential, not a nice to have.
– Theo risks rejection to build community and experiences it. Was there a moment in the book where that risk felt costly to him? How did he respond?
– The book suggests people want community but need a catalyst. Who has played that role in your own life — or where have you played it for others?
– Do you treat community as essential or as a “nice to have”? Has this book changed that for you?
Lesson 4 - some learnings in life only become known with the passage of time
This might be the most important of all and one I only recently realized (at the age of 60) and accepted with gratitude. The acceptance that I now have a certain understanding that I was only able to obtain through the passage of time and the experience that afforded me. There is a certain peace of mind in understanding this lesson. It removes a lot of “should haves” and regrets and turns them into acceptance and peace. The culmination of Theo’s learnings over his life, drove Theo back to Golden at that time and guided him in how to use the time while there. Then, and only then. It could not have happened prior.
– Is there a life lesson you only understood once you had the years — and the experience — behind you? What was it?
– The book suggests this kind of understanding brings peace rather than regret. Do you agree that hindsight can be a gift rather than a source of “should haves”?
– Theo’s return to Golden could only happen when it did — not before. Do you believe timing in life works this way? Can you think of an example from your own life?
Conclusion
To the person noted above who suggested, “move this to the top of the list,” thank you.
Books can help us “dust off” life lessons we have previously learned. Books can be a vehicle for discussion and sharing of these renewed lessons with others. Even a way to build community.
I will conclude with a quote from the book, which might be the most impactful reminder from the book of them all.
“… the best portion of a good person’s life is the little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.”
Other related posts
The Building Blocks of Community – Rituals
Why Building Community is Pillar of This Blog
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